Roseanne Barr called her “the greatest drag queen on earth.” The New York Times warned that “small children may be frightened” of her ribald live performances. Both were probably right. Jackie Beat’s rowdy, flamboyant, celebrity-skewering musical parodies take no prisoners, twisting and playfully perverting the songs of Britney Spears, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, and anyone else who dares to be a diva. Naturally, she was a perfect fit to answer one of our questionnaires: Andy was known to parody a few celebrities in his day — however slyly. And as we see from Christie’s gay-pride-themed Warhol collection, he had his own penchant for occasionally donning lipstick and a dress. Here, Beat talks about her idea for an Extreme Makeover project with Andy, and why people would be dying to get involved. (Go here to see her favorites from the upcoming sale.)
What was your first Warholian moment, and when did you first encounter him?
As a young homosexual, I remember being downright entranced by the album cover for The Rolling Stones’ Sticky Fingers, looking at it over and over and over again. When I got a little older, I became obsessed with the movie Andy Warhol’s BAD. As Susan Tyrrell says at the end, “Looks aren’t everything.”
What or who would be Andy’s muse if he were alive today?
I think he would embrace today’s train-wreck reality stars. Untalented-but-famous folks like Honey Boo Boo and all those horrific Real Housewives.
What are your latest cultural obsessions?
I will always be obsessed with “The Golden Girls,” but some of my latest obsessions include artist Felix d’Eon, dancing fool Connie Slocum, the song “I Wanna Go To Marz” by John Grant, and the music video for “African Mayonnaise” by Christeene.
What would you consider Warhol’s most memorable quote or anthem?
Obviously, his prophetic “15 Minutes” statement is his most infamous legacy, but my favorite quote of his has to be “I like boring things.” Whether he actually meant it or not, to openly embrace boredom when everyone else was running around like chickens with their heads cut off was pretty genius and kind of scene-stealing.
If you could collaborate with Andy on a project, what would it be?
Maybe a series of autopsy / makeover photos in which we give corpses exciting new looks?
Dream dinner-party: you, Warhol, and…?
The best-looking, most attention-starved, behind-on-their-rent young men in town.
Imagine Warhol had a Twitter account. What kind of thing might he say in 140 characters or less?
I just adore cellular telephones. #JudyJetson
Whose portrait would Andy most want to do now?
Who is trashy and flashy and famous, but also rich enough to pay a ridiculous amount of money for a silk-screened portrait? Kim Kardashian, of course.
Soup can or Coke bottle?
Nothing beats that Coke bottle green. The red and white soup cans are the certainly the most iconic, but all that red and white is a little too Christmas-y for me. Besides, Coca Cola is practically Satan himself, while Campbell’s soup is merely a mischievous imp.
Drag every day or only on special occasions?
Unless I’m getting handed a paycheck or a wad of cash afterward, go fuck yourself. I have a beard right now, which, of course, is merely another form of drag, really. So go figure.
See and bid on Christie’s gay pride-themed collection of Warhol’s drawings and photographs, “For Members Only: Eyes on the Guise,” on sale in an exclusive online auction, June 13-27.